Strawberry Pocky
by Skitts
Summary: Once upon there were two very beautiful maidens called Selphie and Yuffie - so it could be considered very unfortunate for Axel and Roxas that they were also yaoi fangirls. Akuroku


**Strawberry Pocky  
Prologue  
**  
_Once Upon a Time_

-- -- --

**O**nce upon a time, in a far-away land of grey concrete and public schools, there lived to very beautiful maidens called Selphie and Yuffie. They were blessed with clear skin and long lashes, and were bombarded with romantic invitations daily (i.e. notes passed in-between Algebraic equations that read 'yo u iz well phitt wil u go owt wiv me plzz lv u bbz xxx') but, much to the chagrin of their handsome suitors (i.e. teenage boys with spots and strange haircuts), they were always rejected.

Some would say this was because there were a tad… Abnormal, as far as fair maidens went. For a start, Yuffie was not fair. Her hair was inky, dark as a raven's feather, painted 'gainst the most melancholy midnight sky. And their beauty was not so obvious as that of the heavy-hearted moon, nor uplifting as a warm spring morn. Selphie bit her fingernails and Yuffie oft engaged in a most boisterous sport some peasants referred to as 'soccer', so, 'tis unfortunate to say, she was usually covered in mud.

And these maidens were completely, incurably and most _unfortunately _fangirls – fangirls of the lowest calibre, for their love was not unrequited for beautiful art and shojo stories. They were _yaoi _fangirls and, as they so oft declared with delicate lilts, _fucking proud of it._

O, for shame, fair maidens. For shame.

-- -- --

"_Come on, cheerleaders, let's get cherry pie…_" Selphie sang under her breath, eyes occasionally flickering up to the clock… And back to her work.

_Aww_, thought the long-suffering teenager, pouting at her messy History courswork (the subject of which being '_**describe Maleficent's actions during the Great War of Hollow Bastion and how they hindered the King's plans**_**.**'

"Who careesss?" Yuffie sighed, rolling her Biro across the table-top. "Wasn't the King, like, some sort of midget or whatever?"

"No, that's not quite correct," the class nerd, Pence, was only too quick to explain. "King Mickey the III – also known as the **Mouse King** – was famed for using stealth and surprise in battle, and often appeared in the most inconvenient of places to counter his enemies. Although the name Mouse King was a derogatory term, most commonly used by Maleficent and Ansem the Evil, it became so well-known-"

"Yuffie, stop bothering Pence!" Mr. Highwind shouted – quite unfairly, in Yuffie's opinion, as she had not prompted, nor encouraged, Pence's tirade in any way, shape or smell. "And Selphie, stop with that ridiculous _singing_!"

"Yes, sir," Selphie pouted, leaning forwards in her chair. And then, under her breath, she began a very violent second verse, made up then-and-there; "_O, Mr. Highwind, let's throw rocks at him…"_

And thus, the lesson passed uneventfully.

-- -- --

"Hey, Yuffie," Selphie mumbled in-between bites of her chicken club sandwich.

"Uh-huhh?"

"Don't you think – urgh…" the brunette wrinkled her nose, splitting the sandwich in two as she did so. Almost mechanically, she began to pick out the tomatoes. It was something she did every day, almost like a tradition. "Tomatoes are _gross_."

"Then why do you even buy those sandwiches?" Yuffie asked, brown eyes fixed on a group of boys playing baseball a little way ahead. She could just-about make out a bright shock of red hair… Axel, huh. And who that was little kid next to him? Ha. Like she even had to ask.

"That's simple. I like the chicken parts, but I hate salad!"

"Huh."

"I know. Why should I let the tomatoes affect my choice of sandwich?" Selphie asked, taking another bite. "Oh, look. I think someone scored a home run."

"But Selph…"

"Yeah?"

Yuffie grinned, and prodded her friend in the side with her swift ninja reflexes. "You don't even know anything about baseball!"

And then the tickling began.

Selphie squealed accordingly, and batted Yuffie's fingers away with the remains of her baguette, some stray mayonnaise ending up on the wannabe-ninja's fingers.

"That was _horrible_, Yuffie! Don't ever do that again or I'll break your fingers," Selphie huffed, sinking her teeth into her poor sandwich with newfound vigour. She even made obnoxious 'om nom nom' noises when chewing, almost as though she were imaging Yuffie's head in place of the delicious white bread and chicken filling.

"Awww. I'm sorry, Selph," Yuffie pouted, attention now focused on the girl's slovenly eating habits. "Anyway… What were you talking about a few seconds ago?"

Selphie stuck her tongue out. And it was covered in pieces of decimated chicken.

Ewww.

"Do you want me to poke you again? God help me, I'll poke you!"

Selphie swallowed, throat convulsing, and began to lick her fingers free of mayo. During this lenghtly process, she began to mumble between her intrusive digits. "S'nuffin. 'm jus' so _bored_."

"I feel your pain. Stuff just doesn't feel quite right – not when Sora's all busy helping out at the library."

"Yeah…" Selphie frowned, and extracted her fingers with a wet 'pop'. "He's just doing it to spend more time with Kairi. But y'know, last time I went in there Kairi said two words to him, and he _flipped_. His face went all red and he dropped all these hardback books on his feet – and of course, a couple dozen kids were there to laugh at him."

Yuffie grinned, leaning back against their tree - that's right, it was _their _tree. Selphie, Yuffie and Sora had sat by it every single lunchtime for the past three years. At least, they _had_, up until a few weeks ago when Sora decided he'd rather spend time with Kairi, getting papercuts and dropping things on himself. The lure was almost overbearing.

Almost. But not _quite_.

"Sounds like Sora."

"But without Sora it's so _boring_," Selphie moaned, crumpling up the wrapper her sandwich came in. "And my mom cancelled my subscription to that yaoi magazine!"

It was only here that Yuffie gasped, orange-painted fingernails coming to rest on her upper lip. "She didn't."

"She _did_, and oh, it's just not fair! Now I've got nothing to do at home, either."

There was a long pause.

"…I feel your pain, Selph."

"I feel it more."

-- -- --

**a.n: the prologue to an akuroku story i will be writing =D although most of it will be told from selphie & yuffie's pov. i hope that's not turning anybody off? :3 it'll probably be real short – and it's kinda like a spin-off of one of my older fics, but you don't need to read it to understand it. at all. **

**this fic is dedicated to lamatikah, who claims i don't write enough anymore xD**


End file.
